LOVE DARe: Day 29

Love's motivation.

"Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men" (Ephesians 6:7).

Love motivated by mere duty cannot hold out for very long.

Love that is only motivated by favorable conditions can never be assured of sufficient oxygen to keep it breathing.

Definitely, moods and emotions can create all kinds of moving motivational targets. 

But love comes from God.

Therefore, when God is my reason for loving, my ability to love is guaranteed.

The love that is demanded from me in marriage should not be dependent on my wife's sweetness or sustainability. 

The love between my wife and I should have one chief objective, honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity.

The blessing that that kind if love brings to my beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.

Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God is able to to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize me.

Love that has God as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain!

LOVE DARe: Day 28

Love makes sacrifices.

I must admit today's dare is the hardest so far. 

Yet Scripture reminds that lives that have been raised from death by Jesus' sacrifice should be ready and willing to make daily sacrifices to meet the needs of others.

I am nakedly aware that I am usually the first to feel it when I am the one being mistreated or inconvenienced.

When life is difficult for me, I notice.

Unfortunately, the only way I notice that life is hard for my wife is when she start complaining about it.

Her pain and pressure most of the time do not register with me the way it does when it is my pain and pressure.

Yet when I complain, I expect her to understand and feel sorry for me.

Today's dare challenges that love does not have to be jarred awake by my wife's obvious signs of distress.

Love desires that I be sensitive to my  wife. 

Love makes sacrifice.

Love shows compassion.

Love inspires to say "no" to what I want, in order to say "yes" to what my wife needs ( Matthew 25:35-36).

I have to let love pick me up out of my self-pity and turn my attention to my wife's needs.

Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of my wife are given my very best effort and focus.

LOVE DARe: Day 27

Love encourages.

"Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble " ( Isaiah 35:3).

"Encourage one another and build up one another ... Encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14).

I continue being reminded that marriage is a unique friendship designed by God where two people live together in flawed imperfection but deal with it by encouraging each other, not discouraging them.

Perhaps I have spent most of my past years as a "speck" inspector making my loved ones spend most days sensing more of my disapproval than my acceptance.

I choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations. 

I choose to focus on personal responsibility and improving myself rather than on demanding more from my wife. 

Marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed  and savored along the way.

I am making a commitment tonight to daily let go of unrealistic expectations and become my wife's greatest encourager. 

Oh! That you may grant me this Grace, God, I beg of you in Jesus precious name. Amen.

LOVE DARe: Day 26

Love is responsible.

Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front.

Love does not pass the blame so easily or justify selfish motives.

Personal responsibility is something we wish others to have but struggle to maintain it ourselves.

We are so quick to justify our motives.

So quick to deflect criticism.

So quick to find fault with our spouse who is of course the easiest one to blame.

Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with others' needs.

Love does not make excuses.

I must re-learn to first admit my own wrongs instead of passing blame.

Love also calls me to take responsibility for my wife.

To love her.

To honor her.

To cherish her.

Pride is very resistant to responsibility, but humility and honesty before God and my wife is crucial for a healthy relationship (1 John 1:8-9).

This is my honest pray.

LOVE DARe: Day 25

Love forgives.

Great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep "no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).

Inability to forgive is the most complex problem of all ( Matthew 18).

Forgiveness cannot just be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put in practice.

Many a times we are unable to forgive because of perceived dangers and risks involved in forgiving others. 

Nevertheless, forgiveness does not absolve anyone of blame. It does not clear the offenders record with God.

Forgiveness saves the forgiver the trouble of trying to win.

Forgiveness is about freedom.

It is about letting go.

By forgiving I release my anger and the responsibility for judging the offender to the Lord.

LOVE DARe: Day 24

Love vs. Lust

Lust is in opposition to love.

Lust simply means to set our heart and passions on something forbidden. 

It is likened to the bottomless pit of unmet longings.

This includes but not limited to seeking sexual fulfillment in another person; lust after possessions or power or prideful ambition.

Lust always breeds lust.

Lust is the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others.

It represents the beginnings of a lie.

Rather than fulfillment, lust leads to emptiness.

It breeds anger, numbs hearts, and destroys marriages.

Only God's love can fill me. Lust is a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill.

I dare choose love.

I run to God for satisfaction (2 Peter 1:3-4).

I choose to be grateful for everything God has already given me rather than choosing discontentment.

While I am at it, I set my eyes and heart on my wife (Proverbs 5:18-21).

Lust is the best this world has to offer, but love offers me the best life in the world. Amen.

LOVE DARe: Day 23

Love always protects.

There are many enemies conspiring to destroy marriages:

Harmful influence;

Unhealthy relationships;

Shame;

Parasites.

I choose to guard the gate and stand my ground against anything that could threaten my wife or marriage.

I will guard my heart from things that may blur my perception of reality and put unfair expectation on my wife.

Indeed, love always protects.