LOVE DARe: Day 31

Love and marriage.

Leave. And cleave. And dare to walk as one.

Leaving = means to break from a natural tie. This, though an issue in many marriages, at least it has not affected my marriage in any significant way. 

We have successfully cut the apron strings.

The purpose of "leaving", is not to abandon all contact with the familial ties but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture.

Cleaving = carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to her as my new rock of refuge and safety.

Of course tasked with the responsibility of loving my wife "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).

As a result we are free to become everything God meant when God declared us "one flesh":

In decision making

In priorities 

In affections.

Leave. And cleave. And dare to walk as one.

LOVE DARe: Day 30

Love brings unity.

Just like love, unity is of God.

Some of the unshakable hallmarks of our God are: Unity, Togetherness, Oneness.

In this spirit of oneness, husband and wife (though two distinct individuals) are spiritually united into the mystery of "one flesh".

The mystery is so compelling that God uses the imagery of marriage to explain God's love for the church.

In today's dare, I am reminded that the preservation of oneness with my wife is worth every sacrifice and expression of love.

I ask of God's strength as I make it my mission to do everything possible to promote togetherness of heart with my wife.

LOVE DARe: Day 29

Love's motivation.

"Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men" (Ephesians 6:7).

Love motivated by mere duty cannot hold out for very long.

Love that is only motivated by favorable conditions can never be assured of sufficient oxygen to keep it breathing.

Definitely, moods and emotions can create all kinds of moving motivational targets. 

But love comes from God.

Therefore, when God is my reason for loving, my ability to love is guaranteed.

The love that is demanded from me in marriage should not be dependent on my wife's sweetness or sustainability. 

The love between my wife and I should have one chief objective, honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity.

The blessing that that kind if love brings to my beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.

Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God is able to to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize me.

Love that has God as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain!

LOVE DARe: Day 28

Love makes sacrifices.

I must admit today's dare is the hardest so far. 

Yet Scripture reminds that lives that have been raised from death by Jesus' sacrifice should be ready and willing to make daily sacrifices to meet the needs of others.

I am nakedly aware that I am usually the first to feel it when I am the one being mistreated or inconvenienced.

When life is difficult for me, I notice.

Unfortunately, the only way I notice that life is hard for my wife is when she start complaining about it.

Her pain and pressure most of the time do not register with me the way it does when it is my pain and pressure.

Yet when I complain, I expect her to understand and feel sorry for me.

Today's dare challenges that love does not have to be jarred awake by my wife's obvious signs of distress.

Love desires that I be sensitive to my  wife. 

Love makes sacrifice.

Love shows compassion.

Love inspires to say "no" to what I want, in order to say "yes" to what my wife needs ( Matthew 25:35-36).

I have to let love pick me up out of my self-pity and turn my attention to my wife's needs.

Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of my wife are given my very best effort and focus.

LOVE DARe: Day 27

Love encourages.

"Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble " ( Isaiah 35:3).

"Encourage one another and build up one another ... Encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14).

I continue being reminded that marriage is a unique friendship designed by God where two people live together in flawed imperfection but deal with it by encouraging each other, not discouraging them.

Perhaps I have spent most of my past years as a "speck" inspector making my loved ones spend most days sensing more of my disapproval than my acceptance.

I choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations. 

I choose to focus on personal responsibility and improving myself rather than on demanding more from my wife. 

Marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed  and savored along the way.

I am making a commitment tonight to daily let go of unrealistic expectations and become my wife's greatest encourager. 

Oh! That you may grant me this Grace, God, I beg of you in Jesus precious name. Amen.