LOVE DARe: Day 14

Love takes delight.

In order to delight in those we love, we must learn how to lead our heart rather than follow it.

We ought not allow our feelings and emotions to do the driving.

I should choose to delight in my wife and to love her no matter how long we have been married.

Love that chooses to love is just as powerful (perhaps truer) as love that feels like loving.

If I am irritable, it is because I choose to be.

If I pick at my wife more than I praise her, it is because I have allowed my heart to be selfish.

Those who choose to lead their heart will delight in their beloved even when the new wears off.

It is time to dream again. Delightfully! 

LOVE DARe: Day 13

Love fights fair.

Love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.

As fallen humanity, we enter marriage not just with hopes and dreams but also with hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage.

Once in marriage we soon begin to realize, unpleasantly though, how sinful and selfish each could be.

The storms of life also begin testing and revealing what we are really made of. Conflict sets in.

In the thick of conflict, pride is strongest. Anger is hottest. In conflict, I am most selfish and judgmental. Words contain the most venom. Unbridled conflict can lead marriage to self-destruct.

This is where love comes in.

Love helps install airbags and helps set up guard rails in marriage.

I must learn to work through conflict more effectively.

I must learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement.

The dare is to figure out how to stay in bounds when the action heats up.

I will never mention divorce.

I must learn not to bring up old, unrelated items from the past.

I will never fight in public or in front of our children.

I will seek a "time out" when things escalate to a damaging level.

I will never touch my wife in a harmful way. 

I we re-learn to never go to bed angry with my wife.

Failure is not an option!

Fighting fair means changing my weapons! Disagreeing with dignity!

LOVE DARe: Day 12

Love lets the other win.

"The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield" (James 3:17).

"Willing" is the key word in today's dare.

This is an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate every conversation.

I should be like a palm tree by the ocean that endures the greatest winds because it knows how to gracefully bend.

Jesus gives us an example of selfless love (Philippians 2).

Even though he had every right to stubbornly seek to be served by all humanity, he willingly laid down his life for our sins. 

I should have the attitude of willingness, flexibility, and humble submission. 

I will, willingly, lay down for the good of others what I have the right to claim for myself. 

I must re-learn not to stay entrenched and unbending even though I know it will cost me pride and discomfort.

Instead of treating my wife like an enemy or someone to be guarded against, I will treat her as my closest, most honored and trusted friend.

I choose to honor the one I love.

LOVE DARe: Day 11

Love cherishes. 

"Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it" (Ephesians 5:28-29).

My wife and I are a part of one another.

My wife is part of who I am.

Our lives are now interwoven together.

Marriage is a very beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one.

I will cherish my wife as I do to myself. 

I will treat her with respect and tenderness. 

I will take pleasure in who she is.

I must treat my wife with the same nurture and care that I treat myself.

I dare to treasure my wife as a priceless gift!

LOVE DARe: Day 10

Love is unconditional.

Love is a choice.

God's love is a choice.

We love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19).

The reason for loving my wife should not be based on something to do with her qualities.

Reason: when those qualities suddenly or gradually disappear, the basis for love is over!

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it is unconditional.

Unconditional love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.

This love is:

"In sickness and health" love;

"For richer or poorer" love;

"For better or worse" love.

This is true love - agape.

This is God's kind of love (1 John 4:10).

Love is not based on feelings or circumstances but on commitment.

This is love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Cor. 13:7).

I dare to no longer say to my wife, "I love you because ..." Instead I will say, "I love you, period!"